Rabbi Yitz Wyne

Jewish learning
One of the most important concepts the Jewish people has had around the world, and one which includes elevated and civilized humanity, is �V�ahavta l�reyacha kamocha - So you shall love your neighbor as yourself� (Vayikra 19:18).

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A noble goal, yes, but wait, how realistic can it be?

Yet, one cannot help but wonder how different the entire world can be if everyone truly loved others because he loved himself.

We may reside in a world with no crime or gossip. People will be more charitable and considerate. Happiness, goodness and gratitude would reign! People would feel more attached to the other person - and loved.

The key reason why it is a difficult goal is simply because many people don�t determine what this means to enjoy others.

Reb David of Levlov once told his disciples he had learned the extent you need to love others by overhearing a talk of straightforward peasants.

One of these suddenly asked uncle: �Do you love me?� �I accept you a lot,� replied the friend. �Do you know what I need?� asked the friend. �How may i know very well what you'll need?� asked the other. �Then your love is not really that of a true friend, for in case you really loved me, you would surely know all of my needs and troubles.�

It�s a unique idea, that love is illustrated by understanding another�s needs. We've heard often times from Rabbi Noah Orlowek the meaning of love is what is imperative that you you is important in my experience.

Like a husband and father, I often contemplate the demands of my wife and kids. As a community rabbi, there are many times I to look around the shul during davening, and pray for the needs of people in the room. Yet, I often wonder, should i figure out what everyone needs? I am aware what some people figure out they desire, but frequently we feel we'd like something, as well as the Almighty features a different idea.

An understanding into how to love others comes from a story that happened to me more than two decades ago. Before I got married, I asked our rabbeim for suggestions about the way to use a great marriage. One particular conversations left an indelible impression on me.

The rav believed to me: �Yitz, I want you to know you are a selfish animal. You will always be a selfish animal. It�s not your fault; it�s the way G-d created you. Everything you can do is usually to commence to incorperate your wife in your definition of self. Then incorporate your children, your community, and finally the complete Jewish people. By expanding your definition of self to add others, you won�t be swimming upstream when the time comes to manage others� needs. Really, you will be taking care of your own needs, which is natural for individuals.�

Another aspect of learning how to increase our love of others is by using the meaning of love as articulated by my rebbe, Rabbi Noah Weinberg zt�l. �Love,� he stated, �is when one identifies and appreciates the virtues in another.� The greater we target precisely what is special with regards to a person, the harder we like them.

Once I used to be at the conference to rabbis. I was split up into categories of five. 2 different people in every single group knew the other person well; two different people knew the other superficially for a while; then there was anyone within the group whom there was all just met. Our assignment ended up being to play the Love Game.

The item of the game was for each and every individuals to spot a virtue in each an associate the gang, after which share it with everyone. Only then do we were asked, �Were you capable to identify important in everyone in the group?� A better solution was a resounding �Yes!�

The point of the exercise ended up being illustrate that in the same manner you could identify virtues in someone you've got noted for years, you can also identify virtues in someone you only met.

Make a world where whenever a person interacted with another, he or she would identify a gift for the reason that person. Picture some sort of in which people would recognize another person�s needs and treat her or him in how he or she thought about being treated. That could be some sort of truly filled with happier, kinder people and far goodness.

Once the Torah says, �Love your neighbor as yourself,� it isn't an indication. This is a mitzvah, a duty. Just like a loving father won't command his son to behave beyond his reach, head of the family won't command us to perform the impossible.

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